Surprisingly, I think that having an attitude like this, where I expect others to do some of the initiating and communicating, may very well mean that I find fewer and fewer people to play with. Should that day come then I know I will recognise it as a sign to move on. My marriage only allows for a very specific relationship with others but if that cannot be fulfilled then I have absolutely no doubt that my marriage comes first.
Those lovely people who I get along with best don't hide their true feelings. They don't let me try and uncover what they want, they tell me loud and clear. Those that aren't so sure don't pretend to be something they're not.
Life is too short to mess about. It's sex. It's me taking control and us both getting what we want out of that situation. Why complicate it? Be open and truthful and everything will run so much smoother.