Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Impact play

When I play with a sub there always comes a point where a bare butt is presented to me, ready for a spanking. Or flogging. Or cropping.

Until I get to properly know a sub I approach with caution; gentle spanks at first and then, depending on the response, harder and harder. Spanking requires not just a little care. For example, hit too high and you risk causing kidney damage. Some subs can take one hell of a spanking and, in these situations, it is my throbbing hand rather than their rosy red bum that gives in first (not that I'd ever tell them that).

I had my first go with a crop a couple of months ago. It made a very satisfying swooping and slapping sound. It marked easily. Marking is something else I clear with subs before we start; is it OK and, if so, where?

The flogger is a versatile piece of equipment. It can deliver a stinging blow or can be gently whipped against the skin. Drag it over the back and butt for a sensual experience, the fronds falling between the legs to tease the pussy.

It isn't just the rear that gets attention. Bent over a bed, legs spread, allows the flogger to be whipped against the pussy. An unpopular move I usually only use for punishment. Stood up, arms above head, a sub's breasts also make for a good (and enjoyable for them) target.

Many objects can be used for impact play, within reason. For example; I discovered that the soft leather handle at the end of a leash makes for the perfect little pussy whip when she's on her back, legs akimbo.

"OK?" Is a question I ask fairly often. Sharp intakes of breath can mean pleasure, pain or both and so I always like to check and give the sub an opportunity to take a break. I have my own limits. As soon as I see blood rising to the surface I move on. I don't do extreme.

Most important of all? Regular caresses both during and after impact play. Caring for my subs is paramount.

Saturday, 22 August 2015

Getting checked out

A blog title which is, perhaps, a little misleading. No, I haven't suddenly become the focus of adoring women, but I have, since being in this open relationship, been making occasional visits to an STI clinic. Not because of an infection, but so that I know the state of my health when with other partners.

Having an STI needn't be a disaster nor the end of sexual activity, but being honest about your health, and taking the appropriate precautions, is very important, especially with so much trust involved. So what's it like going to a clinic?

The one I frequent is about as dully NHS as it gets. It's situated in a grey building along a great alleyway. The reception staff are bored and indifferent. The chairs plastic and uncomfortable. The TV blares out boring nonsense without taking into consideration what you may be going through.

After filling out a form (who I am, the state of my health, why I'm here) I join the seated men. Women are sent to another floor; only penises are perused here. The average age is late twenties to early thirties. At the time I visit it's mainly suits. And most are probably considered attractive. Looking for young, besuited, good-looking and responsible men? You now know where to go.

Now; the interview. My lifestyle, sexual orientation, how sexually active I am etc. The person who asks the questions is always friendly and non-judgemental. Time to pee into the jar (alone) and those awkward few minutes of having to hold the now-warm plastic before seeing the nurse.

The last nurse I saw was a big bear of a man. Very chatty and entirely lovely. As he took my blood for the HIV test I considered how difficult a job it must sometimes be, having to occasionally deliver horrible news and the rest of the time being cheerful despite the drab surroundings.

There's a choice when getting the HIV test; find out now or later. I always opt for now, never wanting to seed unnecessary thoughts which may grow into paranoia. The jar is labelled and dispatched to the lab to check for chlamydia and gonorrhoea (I hate that word).

A few weeks later I call for the results and there's always that terrible game show pause as the information is found. Did I win or lose? Clear. But out of respect for G and those others I have sex with, condoms remain one of my essential rules. Honesty, trust and responsibility; common themes in alternative lifestyles.

Monday, 17 August 2015

Male brothels

If you have not yet seen Magic Mike XXL and are worried about spoilers ruining the deep and complex storyline then I would advise you to not read on.

I took G to see this film partly as I wanted to treat her, partly because I was curious about the revolutionary acknowledgement of the female gaze. Yes, it was, overall, a pretty terrible film. But there were some interesting moments, one of which was the scene in the "exotic entertainment palace" (where the men meet their MC and take a look around her male strip club).

Unlike the usual bawdy strip club, this club was more interactive and didn't just rely on male nudity to show the ladies a good time. Could such a place actually be as popular?

G claimed it wouldn't work. She doesn't think women are as into paying for sex as men and that a deeper connection needs to be had for it to be more enjoyable. But the club in the film operated on a membership model. The clientele kept coming back and so must have formed some sort of relationship with the men who worked there.

It was during this scene that the group of girls next to me fell silent. They had been yabbering the whole time, but this particular scenario seemed to have captured their attention. And then it struck me; in a club such as this it doesn't all have to be about sex. 

Being worshipped, genuinely. Being able to watch attractive men and not feel sordid. Being made to feel special. But, in a male brothel, would women be embarrassed about selecting men in front of other women? Maybe, but then no such inhibitions are displayed when objectifying men so publicly in male strip clubs.

Some may say "why pay for sex when I can get it for free?" Well, you get what you pay (or don't pay) for. Here are a bevy of sexy, attentive and genuinely lovely men. Chances are the sex would be mindblowing. Guilt-free, respectable, paid-for sex and male entertainment; why hasn't this happened yet?