Thursday, 19 November 2015

White male advantage

The phrase 'white male privilege' is wielded with increased regularity against me. Against my friends, family and colleagues who, through no choice of their own, were born white and male.

It's often used as an accusation, as if the many (many) inequalities in the world are solely my fault. I hate it. It makes me feel entirely shit. I do what I can to even out inequality and celebrate equality but I feel massively knocked back when my supposed privilege is thrown in my face.

There have been many times in my life where I've not felt privileged at all. Learning about a friend's suicide and then being told he was privileged because he was white and male when it was the latter of those two things which meant he was statistically more likely to succumb to such a lonely end makes me really fucking angry.

Our government is causing absolute misery to millions with their sadistic obsession with cuts. But those who happen to be white and male? Why they're privileged, the lucky bastards. Those sweeping statements which suggests these people are privileged come across as distinctly insensitive. As ever, when we should be uniting we find ways to turn against each other.

So, here comes the acknowledgement that we do live in an unequal society and that, out of all humanity worldwide, white men are at a distinct advantage. But that's what it is; an advantage. White male advantage. And because of that advantage I'll continue to suck it up and take the privilege accusations on the chin - there are bigger things to concern myself with.

Happy International Men's Day (more info about that here: 

Thursday, 12 November 2015

Test 73

De-classified: November 2015
Authorised by: Dava Newman


National Aeronautics and Space Administration

Spacelab Test #73
Date: 12 November 1985
Title: Sexual Intercourse in Zero Gravity
Appendix VI: Dr Yvonne Marsden's personal log
Classified for 30 years 

Day 18
Early on in the program they had told me about this test, what it involved and what my part in it would be. If I had refused I would have been able to go on another mission, but I was keen to go on this one, partly because it departed sooner but mainly because I wanted to take part in what is going to be a fascinating test.

Day 19
The other tests have so far had mixed results (NOTE: see files 4682.3 to 4683.6) and so we are keen on making the sex test a real success. Tomorrow we have a briefing meeting with mission commander Boulton.

Day 20
This is strange. Unlike every other aspect of this mission, for which I was selected because of my physical ability and scientific knowledge, I am a participant purely because I'm female. I contributed some ideas for the test but on the day I will have little to do except submit to men and my colleagues' hypotheses. 

Kyle Brenner has been selected as the other participant. The guys decided by drawing straws. It's funny but usually you'd expect scientists to not want to be test subjects, but the other three all seemed keen on getting the short straw. Kyle did a poor job of hiding his glee. Guys will be guys I guess. 

Even though I'm trying to remain emotionally detached, a part of me is glad that Kyle will be my partner. He's my age and I'll admit that I find him attractive (I've always had a thing for dark-haired, brown-eyed guys). Plus all the boys will be in their physical prime. 

God I'm nervous.

Day 21 - Test 1

I'll try to recount today's events as best I can, but some details are a little hazy.

The big day. This morning as I was getting ready I felt as though I were going on a date and I even 'prepared' myself down there. Temperature in Spacelab is kept at around 75, perfectly comfortable for me. I didn't bother putting on anything more than a vest and panties. I wouldn't be wearing either for very long anyway.

Kyle and the others were waiting for me and setting up experiments. I was grateful that this test wasn't being filmed. I tried to maintain a professional approach but inside I was kind of excited. These guys were all super fit Air Force and they were about to see me naked.

Commander Boulton ordered me to undress. He wasn't even looking at me because he and Major Ike were busy finishing off taking notes. Kyle had already undergone some tests and the guys all seemed a bit awkward. Maybe the fact that my breasts were floating up didn't help. Zero gravity does wondrous things as far as they're concerned.

Something must be wrong with me because I found being ordered to undress incredibly hot. I am but an object that happens to be female and so therefore am the subject of this test. Boulton, by the way, looks like an older Harrison Ford. My friend Abby will be so jealous. She loves Hans Solo. I quickly removed my vest and panties.

As my breasts did their zero gravity thing Kyle couldn't help but look at me. He told me I looked good. Direct, but ok. Helped me feel a bit more at ease but it still felt weird being naked in front of the others. Boulton told me to start the tests. This first one was my idea and so I didn't need any further direction. Test 1 was to study the effects of self-stimulation. A test that Kyle had already done with the guys.

There was a small bed along the side and I lay down and let my hand drift down to between my legs. I found my clit but it didn't respond. The others were loudly discussing something and trying hard to ignore their naked female colleague playing with herself in the corner.

I tried for what felt like ages and started to despair. The atmosphere was too sterile and I was having to grasp the bed between my legs to stop myself from floating away. My hypothesis was that women could self-stimulate in space but I wasn't going to be able to prove it. I needed help. 

"Kyle, could you, er, lend a hand?" I asked.

His smile was so warm and his tone so kind. He could see I was struggling and wanted to put me at ease. He leaned over and his lips offered up barely perceptible kisses to my neck. His large hands, the perfect temperature, found my breasts and thighs. I was being seduced by a particularly skilled operator.

I hadn't been expecting this. By requesting Kyle's help I had thought he'd hold my legs, not set about seducing me. This was infinitely better.

Without really thinking about it I parted my legs and offered more of myself to his touch. I concentrated on the ever-present hum of the lab, shutting out Boulton and Ike. I also focused on Kyle's dexterous fingers which now gently rubbed and circled my clit. 

He didn't need to fondle my breasts, pinch my nipples or caress my butt. He didn't need to but, when he did, my god did it work. With one hand he played with me, with the other he held me down so I wouldn't drift away.

By now the other two had finished up what they were doing and watched Kyle play my body. I might have been bothered had Kyle not taken me close to ecstasy. He kissed me tenderly and whispered in my ear. 

"Cum for me Marsden"

And that did it. My mind ascended into inky black space then tore asunder amidst crystalline starbursts. I groaned loudly and gripped the edges of the bed hard. All too quickly, though, I found myself back in the room being stared at by the men.

"Test 1 a success" I panted and I was glad when the others laughed. The tension had been broken in spectacular fashion.

Day 21 - Test 2
Test 2 was somewhat dependent on test 1. Again, this was a test that I had proposed; how vibrators function in outer space. The outcome of this will, I'm sure, be of interest to many women back on Earth.

Following test 1 my body was ready to receive the vibrator which Kyle had handed to me. I'd brought my own as the thought of some unknown NASA guy picking out vibes for me just grosses me out.

I didn't necessarily need any assistance, but was glad when I stood up and Kyle offered to put his arm around my waist so that I could concentrate on getting myself off. I started off standing, wanting to know if the toy would stay there in zero gravity. 

Having slowly inserted it I played with myself for a little while. Kyle's attentions had made me so wet but I still felt pretty tight. Eventually I let go and was delighted when it stayed in. I had to concentrate a bit on stopping my pelvic muscles from squeezing it out but that didn't get in the way of the enjoyment of being able to stand there whilst the vibe quietly purred and teased my g spot.

Boulton and Ike had obviously sensed that, at the mercy of the toy, I was getting very floppy and Kyle was struggling to hold me down whilst keeping control of himself. Ike sat on the floor and grasped my ankles. Thus manhandled I felt the oncoming rush of another orgasm, but I wasn't ready for that yet.

To be thorough I let the guys help me onto the bed and quickly tested how the toy worked from a horizontal position. More satisfying but less fascinating. By now the guys were getting enthusiastic about proceedings, all three were 'assisting' me by holding a limb. They also seemed to enjoy watching me, not surprising maybe, but what Boulton said next took me a little aback.

"You know, there is somewhere else you should test that thing." He said.
"What, like in the airlock?" Ike asked. He's a cutie but he isn't all that sharp. I knew just what Boulton meant though.
"I think he means my ass Ike." I smiled.
"Oh...right." We were in hysterics by now but I agreed we should give it a go.

They lifted me off the bed so that I was once again stood with my legs spread. Kyle handed me some lube and I slicked some over my toy and hole. Having relinquished control of my legs and torso to the others I reached behind and tried to slide the vibe beyond my sphincter. It was difficult and I got really darn frustrated. Eventually I capitulated and ask Kyle to help.

The other two bent me over slightly and I spread my butt cheeks to give Kyle the best chance. I may have made a lame joke at this point about this being harder than lining the shuttle up with the Spacelab. The pressure of the toy against me was briefly uncomfortable but instant relief came once Kyle managed to guide it all the way in.

It didn't feel as directly satisfying as when it was in the other side, but it felt good all the same. More so when Kyle began sliding it in and out, slowly screwing me in the ass whilst the others held me for him. I think this was the point where the test ended and the orgy began.

Kyle demonstrated that the toy couldn't stay in without being held. My muscles back there obviously more powerful than the ones in my pelvis. I'd noticed his hand slipping further and further around my waist until his fingers rested against my vulva. Two other pairs of hands were stroking my thighs and butt cheeks. It was a wonder that they were still able to stop me floating away. Guys can multitask when they want to (perhaps I should add this additional finding in an appendix).

"As wonderful as this is, we should do the final test." Boulton instructed.

This one had been suggested by Kyle and by now I was so ready for it. If humanity is to one day live in space we need to procreate, right? The toy was removed and the girl manoeuvred around.

Back on the bed I reclined, parted my legs and waited to receive him whilst pinned down by Ike and Boulton. Kyle removed his shorts and his cock thrust out hard and proud without any help from zero gravity. I was flattered that I'd had such a dramatic effect. It took a while for him to slip on a condom. Zero gravity caused havoc and once again hilarity ensued.

Recognising that Kyle and I needed a little intimacy, the other two stood back as far as they could. Kyle crawled over me, a strong hand travelling from my calfs, over my thighs and belly to my breasts. This possessive act felt wonderful. I've achieved a heck of a lot despite the challenges of being female in a male world, but there are times when I want a man to take control and own me.

It wasn't necessary for him to touch me like this. It wasn't necessary for him to kiss me then retreat back down my body to start tongueing my clit. Not necessary but oh so good. 

I waited, bound, bared and brazenly spread for Kyle. My heart was beating hard, which must have been visible to the 3 guys as my breasts rose and fell rapidly. Lying like a sacrificial offering on an altar, I watched as he gently held his cock against me. All of us were now focused on his patient penetration. 

Once his shapely head had pushed through he continued on until his whole smooth hardness was enveloped within. By now tests 1 and 2 were a distant memory. Nothing compares to the sensation of real, hot flesh inside you. I gave myself to him and my pulse began to quicken again. He was my colleague and friend and he was also proving to be a caring and accomplished lover.

We indulged in a deep, tongue-laden kiss. Every part of my body brushed by the one hand that he wasn't using for stability. He pinched my nipples again, no doubt a part of his repertoire. It felt great! 

The other two looked on. I watched them as they studied my nudity before my eyes closed as if pulled by a string connected to the orgasmic feeling of Kyle's cock pressing against that sexually sensitive spot. Rolling my head to the side I watched India drift by outside the window, 146 miles below.

All three of the guys were now fondling me, taking turns at my breasts, clit and ass. Kyle unceasingly thrust into me and I could feel him grow harder, getting closer. I began to feel light headed and so reached down to grasp him, to keep a grip on this incredibly hot situation.

He felt so full, so powerful. Ike and Boulton spread me more so as to allow Kyle to plunge deeper. His torso, replete with slabs of muscle, beaded with sweat. My head fizzed, stomach tensed and legs, still held firm, trembled.

Animal grunts poured out of Kyle and he rocked back and forth faster and faster until I felt his cock pump its juices deep inside. This was the final switch required to launch my own all-consuming ecstasy. Tendrils of shuddering rapture unfurled along my skin. In the throes of our mutual passion the boys had let go of me and I drifted into satisfied serenity both mentally and physically.

Naked and unbound by neither gravity nor men, I saw New Zealand pass far below and felt my mind return to this universe. Three pairs of hands gently guided me back down.  Just the best, most incredibly erotic experience. I'm going to remember these tests for a very long time.


National Aeronautics and Space Administration

Spacelab Test #73
Date: 12 November 1985
Title: Sexual Intercourse in Zero Gravity
Appendix VII: Captain Kyle Manning's personal log
Classified for 30 years 

Day 21
Tests today involved me having sex with Yvonne. Spectacular. Let the records show that she has out-of-this-world breasts.


Sunday, 8 November 2015

Rear view shadow

I catch this shadowy rear view
Every morning as I stand at the sink
My body satisfactions are few
But "this isn't bad" I think

See who else is taking part in this Sinful Sunday:

Sinful Sunday

Sunday, 1 November 2015


That little crease betwixt thigh and hip, such a mesmerising part of the body. And now it has a name; the 'thighbrow'. For such an alluring feature it's a really daft, unsexy name. 

I seem to be a little late in coming across this trend (it seems to have started around the 9th of September) and usually I disapprove of anything which dictates how a woman's body should look. But a thighbrow (please, someone, come up with a better word) is something that everyone has, regardless of body shape or gender.

Why do I find it so sexy? Firstly, it's because it is so very aesthetically satisfying. A thin, dark crevasse in what is for most a perfectly smooth part of the body. Secondly, it is much like the obliques (which I have previously celebrated here). On both sides the lines start at the top of the hip and end at the groin, a suggestion of what lies beyond the underwear.

Trends such as the thighbrow are often mostly negative in that they objectify women (not in the fun way) and make people feel pressured or unhappy with their bodies. As this particular trend can include everyone I'd like to turn it around and make it a positive thing - a celebration of the beauty of the human body.